Purpose Means Becoming Who You Want to Be
Updated: Oct 22
What if some of the things we assume are simply part of who we are aren’t as permanent as we think?
A Washington Post story published October 6 looks at research challenging long-held assumptions about personality. Birth order, for example, appears to have little lasting influence on who we become. More interestingly, research suggests personality itself can continue to change throughout adulthood.
Life experiences can change us. But researchers have also found evidence that intentional efforts to change can make a difference.
That raises a question that goes far beyond whether the oldest child really is more responsible:
How much of who we are is actually who we still want to be?
VALUES
It is easy to turn descriptions of ourselves into definitions.
“I’ve always been this way.”
“I’m just not good at that.”
“That’s just my personality.”
But purpose asks us to look beyond who we’ve been and think about who we want to become.
That’s where values matter.
Values help identify what is important to us. Family. Honesty. Faith. Achievement. Generosity. Curiosity. Courage. Stability. Freedom. Connection.
And they give us something against which we can examine the person we’re becoming.
If connection matters, are we making room for it?
If curiosity matters, are we still willing to reconsider what we believe?
If generosity matters, does it show up in where we give our time and attention?
If courage matters, are fear and comfort making more decisions than we’d like?
The encouraging part of the research isn’t that everyone needs to change.
It’s that change remains possible.
Purpose doesn’t require becoming an entirely different person. Sometimes it means recognizing the distance between who we are and who we value becoming.
COMPASS CHECK
What qualities do you value most in the person you want to be?
Where does your life already reflect those values?
What have you dismissed as “just who I am” that you might actually want to change?
Who you’ve been can help explain who you are.
It doesn’t have to determine who you become.
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